I am digging about two different senses of time; Being a painter takes time, Materials* are losing its sense of time.
* The materials have ancestral/ conventional sense gradually stacked from long-long times ago such as candle, marble, pigment, etc.
I don't know why I am now interested in Romanticist. I might have jealousy to their freedom. feel like they are backpackers who take painting box and seat on anywhere. Then just paint. A painted figure on canvas has no freedom. This could be a representation of a no-backpackerly painter.
I am quite curious about how to make the figure melts and moves and how much I can grasp fragments of my destiny, which could be figured out through time, or which could be needed practices on an appreciation, feeling, learning and perceiving of the medium and materials, or which could be figured out by an acceptance of unexpected and unpurposed happenings.
How much I can take my belongings away from desire, how much I can get the fragments of destiny hidden by blurry vision.
whisper in my ears, How can I get them all, when can I speak out load ‘I am a painter’.

23. 03. 2021

Statement of the show, ‘Hey, a portal in your house keeps spitting the mosters u despise!!’

난 재료에서 느껴지는 고유의 물성을 느끼고 대화 소통하는 것에서 여러 가능성을 보며 작업하고 있다. 내가 지나치게 좋은 아이디어를 가지고 있다면 대화는 실패한다. 재료에게 좋은 것을 해주려 해도 나쁜 것을 하려 해도 실패한다. 재료는 재료 그 자체이다.난 이와 같은 순수한 소통, 있는그대로 바라보기와 같은 개인적 ‘practice’를 통해, 재료를 사회적 맥락에서 이해하는 ‘차용appropriation 미학’ 기반 사고방식에서 멀어져보려, 거시적으로는 더 긴밀하게 연결해보려 한다.

Note while working on

나는 이 전시를 통해 이 수많은 괴물은 어디에서 나오는지 그 포탈은 어디에 있는지 내 주변을 휘감고 있는 괴물과 괴물의 둥지로 쫓아가 보려 한다.
어제도 오늘도 TV에선 또 다른 괴물들이 처단된다. 요즘엔 마치 지저地底 괴물들을 처단하는 각성자(헌터)들이 현실로 날아들어 왔다는 생각까지 하곤 한다. 다른 점이 있다면, 현실에선 액션신이 없고, 드라마틱하지 못하다는 것. 또 하나 다른 점이 있다면, 헌터들의 목적은 지저 괴물이 나오는 포탈을 닫는 것이지만, 현실의 헌터들은 중세 판타지 용사들처럼 괴물을 잡는 게 목적이다. 또다시 이 괴물이 나타나지 않게 규제를 강화한다. 20년 전 중세 판타지를 읽는 만큼이나 대단히 시대착오적이다. 괴물을 떠올렸을 때 영화에 등장하는 외계 괴물이 상상되는 내게 이미, 서울에 나타나는 괴물은 암호로 가득한, 해독 불가능한 ‘반 동양무협/ 반 서양판타지 + @의 수법을 가진’과 퓨전 판타지의, 감각 불가능한 어떤 사람이 아닐까?
괴물 한 마리도 이해 못 하는데 포탈은 어떻게 생각할 수 있을까? 그렇다고 내 악행을 좀 먹고 살지도 모를 이 사람 괴물의 탄생에 반해 괴물일지 모르는 나 자신을 방어하고자 또 다른 괴물을 마법으로 처단해 나갈 텐가?

13. 05. 2020  3pm

Note on a work, ‘LETTER’

There were lots of different ideas and concepts have been investigated and changed on this work. Those have been tripping into my mind and out of there. That happened till that I found a way; allow myself and feel and concentrate more on only using the object, inspired by a spear in an archeology museum, on a context of APPRICIATION(understanding). At the beginning, the spear was just a symbolic set-up for my painting, this work was titled ‘Thanks Grandma’. Then I thought creating a work for my grand-ma is really for her? Isn’t it just for me and my work career? Then I broke all out. and said to me “lets just SEND A LETTER TO GRAND-MA if I feel so thankful. Not do that in work.” As a second, the spear wasn’t also a protagonist in this work. I used the spear as a symbol for preparing a war to face DELEUZ based CONCEPTUAL ARTISTS in contemporary movement, that stupidity is still going on in the art world.
then I though, ,ain’t those all just what I wanted to be highlighted by work? like the ways of Showing how much time I spent, how smart I am, and wanted to believe I’m an artist who deals with smart concept.
I felt that was what I wanted to hear from others and hear through this work.
then I thought again, (monologue) LOOK at that world!! most of artists spend more time than me. They know more of Deleuz than me. There are a lot of smarter person than me in the art world either in other fields.

I now decided only purely to consider more visible and invisible character of the object, spear. meant how it look like, how to wax it, how to get an aged surface, why it should be LONG, SHARP, AGGRESSIVE, UGLY, PRACTIAL, NARROWED. What sets smell of this cheap wood, might be resin?, maybe wood? how to carve it well?
In the progress,
to feel the MATERIALITY of it, I gradually swapped carving tools, first chisel, second hand plane which is one of the most adventurous analog carving tool.
to feel the SMELL of it, I tried to find more media for colouring, priming, gessoing, and what ever, which triggered me opens up some questions, should I mix natural resin for the smell of wood? should I use natural bee wax, what can I use something else for it?

I still don’t know what a creature that I’m making is. But getting to know more between each of us, me and the object.

13.12.2019 09.41pm